It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
