a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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