My brain says no but my pants say off.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
