JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
