party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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