Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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