No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
