youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's never too late to be topless.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
