I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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