When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
