I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
