It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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