Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
