i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
