But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize
