Me. At least after what I've been through.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
