no, he came in my armpit
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
