he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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