How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize