if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
