Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize