I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
