his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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