Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
