I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
