capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
