As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
