Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
