there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
