The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
