I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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