I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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