everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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