I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
