How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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