I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
