We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
