If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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