I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
