come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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