and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
