Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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