i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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