So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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