I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I didn't shave. On purpose
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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