yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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