Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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