Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
