she woke up with a sticky ear
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
