At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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