I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
