you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
