Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
