I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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