Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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