It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
