the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
