so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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