1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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