They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
