I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
