we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
